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BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

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.. written by Hilary Ezeh

A good relationship is one that is mutually dependent or interdependent. A good reason to depend on each other is survival. Do the two of you ensure absolute safety and security on a continuing basis? Is the relationship secure functioning? In other words, is it fully collaborative, cooperative, fair, just and sensitive? We know now from long running studies that the secret to happiness and longevity is secure functioning relationships.
Since the nature of our interactions with others pretty much determines the quality of our experience, it would seem to be in our best interest to make these relationships as good as possible. Some of you might interpret this to mean that you should only hang out with the super pious.
To others, it could mean having friends who are loads of fun. However, that is not what I am talking about. I am sure you have people in your life who are naughty, or boring, or both. I certainly would not want you to cut them off.  What I mean by a good relationship is one that you approach consciously; where the participants behave in a manner congruent with their values. This type of relationship is based on kindness and compassion and is mutually beneficial and satisfying.
We strive for a good relationship in our everyday life with family members, colleagues at work, maids at home and so on. A good relationship is a good to the soul, it brings about comfort, confidence and satisfaction.

 Ways To Keep A Healthy Relationship

1. Do not argue about money: It’s practically a guaranteed relationship killer.  If you haven’t yet had a conversation about how money is earned, spent, saved, and shared, do it now.  Try to get an understanding of how each of you sees your financial life, and where the differences are.  Then address them.

2. Try not to focus on trifles: Is it worth fighting about?  More to the point, is it really a trifle?  Often a seemingly minor issue is a manifestation of a larger problem.  You want to know how to make a relationship strong? Talk about what’s really bothering you, instead of how loud the TV is. It’s really that simple.

3. Share your thoughts: Your hopes.  Your fears.  Your passions.  Let your partner know who you really are.  Set aside sometime each day just to talk about the things that are important to each of you, as individuals. This is one of the most crucial things to do to make your relationship stronger.

4. Be friendly: Treat your partner the way you’d treat a good and trusted friend: with respect, consideration, and kindness. It will go a long way in fostering a strong relationship.

5. Resolve arguments together: When couples fight, it’s all too easy to get locked into a win/lose dynamic.  Think of your disagreement as a problem for you both to solve, not a fight for you to win.  Think of saying “we” before giving into the temptation of casting blame on the other person.

6. Show affection daily: Sex is one thing.  Holding hands, a hug, a squeeze on the arm – all create connection and trust.  If you’re not getting as much attention as you want, let it be known.

7. Focus on the positive: What do you appreciate about your partner?  What first attracted you?  What do you treasure about your life together?Focus on the positivity to make relationship strong.

8. Be supportive: Nothing kills a buzz like a negative or absent response to something you’re enthusiastic about.

9. Say it: Saying “I love you” carries much more weight when you consistently do things that your partner values.

10. Manage your differences: Think long-term.  Your relationship is an investment, like the stock market.  Ride out the down times.  With the right kind of attention, they will be temporary.

11. Respect each other when arguing: It is all too tempting to use whatever ammunition you’ve got in the heat of battle.  Ask yourself, where will it get you?  A partner who is likely to come to your side, or one who will get even more defensive?  Ask your partner how he or she sees the problem.

12. Have each other’s back: and let that be known, that’s how you keep a relationship strong.

13. Set goals as a couple: Talk about how you want your relationship to look in a year, five years, ten years.  Then work toward that goal.

14. Make your partner a priority: That is why you’re in this relationship in the first place.

This is how to keep a relationship strong and happy. Following these tips will get you closer to your spouse and improve the quality of your relationship. Relationships, against what is commonly believed, are not as difficult to maintain as they are made out to be. Learning and unlearning some habits and behaviors in your day to day life is sufficient to keep your relationship strong, healthy and happy.
Thanks for reading and do check back for more great posts.

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